I miss it. Senior year. I miss the people, the experiences. Even though I was so stressed. Even though I cried so much. And in front of people, my parents, so often. I hate that. Crying in front of others. It makes me feel weak.
I spent the night packing up my bags. But not collecting everything. Some things are staying behind. Reminders that I use to be a resident here. And that maybe, one day, I'll be back. But then, that day of return, seems so far away. Looking at those suitcases, that pile of junk that I will soon be hauling off with me in just over 24 hours....it doesn't seem real. So surreal, this day has been.
I miss Audrey already, and she hasn't even left.
Oh, and Callie. She's in Kenya now, but I can't believe it. I can't, its so hard to wrap my mind around.
These lavender walls, spotted with clouds. My little baby cranes. Will they miss me? Will they even be here when I come back? They must be. But will I even feel at home here anymore?
Think. Think. Think. It would be nice if I could turn my mind off right now and go to sleep. But it's so preoccupied. I never would have expected this. To have made this decision of where to go to school. To have made the friends I have. To have turned into this person that I am now. So different from my freshman self. Not even at the beginning of senior year though, would I have ever expected to have experienced some of the things I did this year.
Trepidation. What comes next? I don't want to forget the past. These people, who I care about so much. Yet, I want to move forward, in a way. I want to meet new people. Experience new things. All the same, its still kind of making me uneasy.
But I guess that's normal.
Its late. Lights out. I should be in bed.
Its not like we'll never meet again.
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