Because that I how thankful I am for friendship. I am quite thankful as well, for everything. I realize that while my life isn't perfect and that's alright with me. Plus, all the chaos sure makes it more interesting.
I dreamed last night that the interstate exit by Lydia's house was actually one massive field of wheat and wild flowers bordered by forest but Lydia's neighborhood was still present at the end of the field as well as that strip of road. It was warm and you and I were in sundresses running across the field. The sky was a dark blue color which was quickly fading into an even darker grey-black hue and filled with dark heavy storm clouds. It was the calm before the storm. I think we were running to the road. To avoid the on coming rain storm perhaps?
Then I woke up and realized that it was actually cold outside.
Saturday, November 29, 2008
Thursday, November 27, 2008
Sunday, November 23, 2008
If Time is Measured In Memories,
Don't Set Your Clock to Misery!
I agree, children's toys now-a-days seem quite frivolous. Have you noticed the majority of them all have to do with video games and television? The toy industry, it seems, is out to brainwash our society's children. What shall we ever do? It's quite sad. I fear that future generations won't be able to think for themselves. I fear they may be losing their innovative and creative ability. I fear they won't be able to entertain themselves without the presence of a television screen. I never had an easy-bake oven...but they always looked so fun. I remember that majority of my childhood was consumed by coloring books, crayons, paint, and playing out in the back yard. I didn't have much exposue to technology as a child. I recall that my parents would always limit my tv time. Good 'ol Mom and Dad, always looking out for my well being. Another thing, I feel that the quality of children's television has also decreased over the years. I remember growing up with shows like "Wishbone" and "Bill Nye the Science Guy." Mr. Roe talks about all the kiddie shows his son watches and they sound supper trippy and pointless. I'd never let my children watch that (if I had children that is). Oh dearie me, what is the world of children coming to?
Do you ever wish we could go back in time? Back to a more simple time without the distractions of the internet and television where people would actually go outside and play. Or when it was safe to wander and explore the woods on your own. Or when you could drop out of school and join the circus (like in "Water for Elephants," which I finally finished over the summer. You can tell Katie that I really liked it.)
Can we keep this blog forever and continue to write on it even when we're older and living on completely different sides of the world? What if after college we were to loose all forms of communication and this blog was the only thing holding our friendship together until one day we coincindentally met on a random street corner in new york in front of a local coffee house? Unlikely, still it could make for an interesting story. Maybe we should write a book of short stories together. I'm not the best writer though. I wish I had the ability to compose eloquent pieces of writing but I fear the majority of what I write sounds very disconnected and simplistic. Still, no harm in trying I suppose.
I wonder how we'll view ourselves in the future or how much different we will be then in contrast to now. I feel I've changed a good deal in only the past year. I've become a much more open and social individual, not to mention all of the changes in my physicall appearance. But then I also realized that a number of my interests are quite the same, take classical music or art for an example. Although the ways in which I execute the creation of art have changed. I feel as if I'm completely different, yet the same.
I agree, children's toys now-a-days seem quite frivolous. Have you noticed the majority of them all have to do with video games and television? The toy industry, it seems, is out to brainwash our society's children. What shall we ever do? It's quite sad. I fear that future generations won't be able to think for themselves. I fear they may be losing their innovative and creative ability. I fear they won't be able to entertain themselves without the presence of a television screen. I never had an easy-bake oven...but they always looked so fun. I remember that majority of my childhood was consumed by coloring books, crayons, paint, and playing out in the back yard. I didn't have much exposue to technology as a child. I recall that my parents would always limit my tv time. Good 'ol Mom and Dad, always looking out for my well being. Another thing, I feel that the quality of children's television has also decreased over the years. I remember growing up with shows like "Wishbone" and "Bill Nye the Science Guy." Mr. Roe talks about all the kiddie shows his son watches and they sound supper trippy and pointless. I'd never let my children watch that (if I had children that is). Oh dearie me, what is the world of children coming to?
Do you ever wish we could go back in time? Back to a more simple time without the distractions of the internet and television where people would actually go outside and play. Or when it was safe to wander and explore the woods on your own. Or when you could drop out of school and join the circus (like in "Water for Elephants," which I finally finished over the summer. You can tell Katie that I really liked it.)
Can we keep this blog forever and continue to write on it even when we're older and living on completely different sides of the world? What if after college we were to loose all forms of communication and this blog was the only thing holding our friendship together until one day we coincindentally met on a random street corner in new york in front of a local coffee house? Unlikely, still it could make for an interesting story. Maybe we should write a book of short stories together. I'm not the best writer though. I wish I had the ability to compose eloquent pieces of writing but I fear the majority of what I write sounds very disconnected and simplistic. Still, no harm in trying I suppose.
I wonder how we'll view ourselves in the future or how much different we will be then in contrast to now. I feel I've changed a good deal in only the past year. I've become a much more open and social individual, not to mention all of the changes in my physicall appearance. But then I also realized that a number of my interests are quite the same, take classical music or art for an example. Although the ways in which I execute the creation of art have changed. I feel as if I'm completely different, yet the same.
Hm I am Slow
It has taken me forever to reply. Lately, I have felt that there is so much I need to be writing down, so much I should be chronicling for my future self, but I have had absolutely no motivation to. I really worry for Future Sara, that she'll know nothing of who I am now, and never understand teenagers. I found myself looking at kids ads in the paper today and I was thinking how I would never get my kids something so stupid as, hm I can't remember what it was, but it was stupid. But what if that's what Kid Sara would have loved? I'm already out-of-touch with the youngins! oh my! However, I did see an Easy Bake Oven, something I will always buy my kids, no matter their gender.
I agree, lip balm wrapped in money, wrapped in a love note would be the ultimate random find.
And I'm glad you like classical music too. Because sometimes, when I'm alone in my car, I just turn it on and jam. It's fun to think of stories that go with the music. When I was younger (aka like two years ago), I used to make up 'ballet' dances to classical music in my room. Yup. I wonder if other teenager still find things like that dorky. Because since I've gotten into high school, I've stopped finding those things bad. More interesting. Less typical (though what if it's just typical adult? an atypical teenager is an adult? hm...)
I forgot we had a history chapter to read.
I agree, lip balm wrapped in money, wrapped in a love note would be the ultimate random find.
And I'm glad you like classical music too. Because sometimes, when I'm alone in my car, I just turn it on and jam. It's fun to think of stories that go with the music. When I was younger (aka like two years ago), I used to make up 'ballet' dances to classical music in my room. Yup. I wonder if other teenager still find things like that dorky. Because since I've gotten into high school, I've stopped finding those things bad. More interesting. Less typical (though what if it's just typical adult? an atypical teenager is an adult? hm...)
I forgot we had a history chapter to read.
Monday, November 17, 2008
"If I'd Only Thought Of Something Charming to Say..."
Ah, did you see the snow today? You must have. Wasn't it beautiful? I find running in this kind of weather is actually quite enjoyable, once you get over the initial chill of course. The cold air always leaves me feeling refreshed and alive. I love the feel of the wind teasing my hair, the soft sting of the cold against my skin, and the warm cloud of breath that puffs about as I exhale. Why do I love the cold dark seasons so much? I wonder what this says about me/my psyche. Maybe it's really nothing at all. I just think there's something really beautiful about the cold mixed with the barren exposed landscape. Sometimes it's frozen and lonely, but it doesn't always have to be that way. Other times it's inviting and warm as friends snuggle together for warmth. Perhaps, subconsciously, the cold prompts us to reach out to one another because it's the only way to keep warm and consequently it brings us closer together. Lonesome yet intimate.
Finding the dual nature in things always interests me. I love finding out unusual facts about people. It's always refreshing as it reminds me there's always more to see then what we initially perceive. It makes me want to dig deeper and see what else is hidden from my plain sight, fueling my curiosity. Irony is my favorite. It's entertaining and clever, but also cruel and bizarre. I suppose you could say irony itself is quite 'ironic'.
The blahness seems to have departed for the most part. My emotions at this moment are actually quite serene and peaceful. I'm not sure why. I suppose I shouldn't question it. I don't know if I'll ever fully understand the way my brain works, as much as I'd like to. Maybe if I ever get to study psychology I'll be able to find some answers. I'm so intriegued by the workings of the human mind. I know that it's impossible to understand, but nevertheless I want to learn as much as I can about it. I think this desire to study psychology my have stemmed from a desire to better understand myself and the people around me. What better way to understand something then going to its very core, in this case it would be the mind.
I found some lip balm in the pocket of my sweatshirt. Can you say "Victory!"? That's another one of the things that I really like. Finding lip balm. It's only second best to finding money. Okay, ultimate fantasy find right here, are you ready for this? Imagine finding lipbalm wrapped in a twenty dollar bill concealed within a love note. Could it get any better?
Let's take a little trip down memory lane...
Do you recall our musical interests from fourth/fifth grade? Enya and classical music? Well, I found myself reliving my fourth grade music interests this weekend. It all started with my nap friday. I decided to listen to some music to calm myself down and put myself in a sleepy mood as I fell asleep as well as drown out the murmur of the television downstairs. But I can't really listen to music with lyrics when I'm trying to slumber. I get lost and distracted by lyrics. So I'm thinking I may need to add some classical tracks to my ipod, such as Beehtoven and whatnot. Ha, I know, what a nerd right? To be honest though, I still like that kind of music. I just find it to be so soothing and elegant. I really hope I can master the piano. It's doubtfull that I'll be able to compose anything at all, but I would still be satisfied with the simple task of playing such a beautiful instrument. I really like the violin, but my playing was horrendous! I think the piano is a much safer choice sound-wise. It doesn't come out as harsh and squeeky under the command of my clumsy hands. My main problem is counting in my head and knowin when to shift. I'm a visual person, as well as spacey, so when I have all these things running through my mind I really have to focus, but sometimes it's hard because I can't always visually process everything in front of me. I think I'm getting better though. I suppose practice is the key.
Well, that's enough of my musings for now.
Finding the dual nature in things always interests me. I love finding out unusual facts about people. It's always refreshing as it reminds me there's always more to see then what we initially perceive. It makes me want to dig deeper and see what else is hidden from my plain sight, fueling my curiosity. Irony is my favorite. It's entertaining and clever, but also cruel and bizarre. I suppose you could say irony itself is quite 'ironic'.
The blahness seems to have departed for the most part. My emotions at this moment are actually quite serene and peaceful. I'm not sure why. I suppose I shouldn't question it. I don't know if I'll ever fully understand the way my brain works, as much as I'd like to. Maybe if I ever get to study psychology I'll be able to find some answers. I'm so intriegued by the workings of the human mind. I know that it's impossible to understand, but nevertheless I want to learn as much as I can about it. I think this desire to study psychology my have stemmed from a desire to better understand myself and the people around me. What better way to understand something then going to its very core, in this case it would be the mind.
I found some lip balm in the pocket of my sweatshirt. Can you say "Victory!"? That's another one of the things that I really like. Finding lip balm. It's only second best to finding money. Okay, ultimate fantasy find right here, are you ready for this? Imagine finding lipbalm wrapped in a twenty dollar bill concealed within a love note. Could it get any better?
Let's take a little trip down memory lane...
Do you recall our musical interests from fourth/fifth grade? Enya and classical music? Well, I found myself reliving my fourth grade music interests this weekend. It all started with my nap friday. I decided to listen to some music to calm myself down and put myself in a sleepy mood as I fell asleep as well as drown out the murmur of the television downstairs. But I can't really listen to music with lyrics when I'm trying to slumber. I get lost and distracted by lyrics. So I'm thinking I may need to add some classical tracks to my ipod, such as Beehtoven and whatnot. Ha, I know, what a nerd right? To be honest though, I still like that kind of music. I just find it to be so soothing and elegant. I really hope I can master the piano. It's doubtfull that I'll be able to compose anything at all, but I would still be satisfied with the simple task of playing such a beautiful instrument. I really like the violin, but my playing was horrendous! I think the piano is a much safer choice sound-wise. It doesn't come out as harsh and squeeky under the command of my clumsy hands. My main problem is counting in my head and knowin when to shift. I'm a visual person, as well as spacey, so when I have all these things running through my mind I really have to focus, but sometimes it's hard because I can't always visually process everything in front of me. I think I'm getting better though. I suppose practice is the key.
Well, that's enough of my musings for now.
Thursday, November 13, 2008
Let's Start a Riot!
I think the reason for our excessive negativity is probably a side effect from our week of 'blah-ness.'
A positive week? Oh, Swan...I don't know if I'll make it. I'm sorry I can't always be such a happy sunshiney person all the time. Unfortunately, it's not part of my nature. But maybe if we make it a super awesome week of excitement and insanity it could happen. We can certainly try, but it will be a bit of a challenge.
I love this little mental connection we have. We must be on the same brainwaves or something. You are my soul sister.
I do love exclamation points as well. They're a happy burst of emotion. However I have been trying to cut back on my usage so I won't wear out the magic. So you list Katie's hands as one of your favorite things, but fail to overlook my cushy ones? I'm feeling betrayed.
Ah, the best thing ever happened today though. I was flipping through some of my old sketchbooks in search of some blank scrap paper, when I came across a folded up piece of notebook paper. Intrigued, I unfolded it and it read, "I love you Ands." It made me feel loved. I actually smiled, it was wonderful. It also inspired within me a fantastic idea. Whenever one of us is having a bad day, could we write each other a bunch of 'love' notes and hide them in one another's stuff? Please? Back to the sketchbook thing though, it was weird looking through my old sketches. It made for an interesting stroll down memory lane. Some of them were kind of cool, but a lot of them embarrassed me. It's so odd looking at what I did back then. Some of my sketches seemed so...immature? Not very developed. It's strange thinking about how much I've really changed over the years. It's crazy how much can change in only a years time.
Sometimes I feel as if life is passing me by too quickly. Especially when it comes to high school and college. I love Herron, but I'll have to leave it behind in less then two years. It really depresses me. I don't think I'm ready for college. I don't want to think about it. To be honest, I'm a bit apprehensive about it as well. How will I fare with other people? On one hand I've become more confident in my ability to talk to people, but in the 'real world' I'm not so sure how well it will work out. Not to mention how much I'll miss you and everyone else. Promise we'll keep in touch? But for now, I'm just trying to focus on now and enjoy this moment in my life while it lasts. Why can't we be 'forever young?' Can we be supersupersuper seniors? High schoolers for life!
To end on a positive note, here's a list of things I adore:
-peeling paint off of pallets
-finding forgotten love notes
-discovering awesome new music
-Sa Swa!
-randomly bursting into dance
-dance offs
-feasts
-Big Fish!
-movie marathons
-cold weather
-sing alongs (despite our lack of talent)
-walks
-the office
-hugs
-awkward moments, or at least hearing about them. Yours are the best Swany!
-cordory pants
-thrift stores/consignment shops
-staying up late
-dress down days
Let's start a riot!
Here's hoping for a more eventful weekend.
A positive week? Oh, Swan...I don't know if I'll make it. I'm sorry I can't always be such a happy sunshiney person all the time. Unfortunately, it's not part of my nature. But maybe if we make it a super awesome week of excitement and insanity it could happen. We can certainly try, but it will be a bit of a challenge.
I love this little mental connection we have. We must be on the same brainwaves or something. You are my soul sister.
I do love exclamation points as well. They're a happy burst of emotion. However I have been trying to cut back on my usage so I won't wear out the magic. So you list Katie's hands as one of your favorite things, but fail to overlook my cushy ones? I'm feeling betrayed.
Ah, the best thing ever happened today though. I was flipping through some of my old sketchbooks in search of some blank scrap paper, when I came across a folded up piece of notebook paper. Intrigued, I unfolded it and it read, "I love you Ands." It made me feel loved. I actually smiled, it was wonderful. It also inspired within me a fantastic idea. Whenever one of us is having a bad day, could we write each other a bunch of 'love' notes and hide them in one another's stuff? Please? Back to the sketchbook thing though, it was weird looking through my old sketches. It made for an interesting stroll down memory lane. Some of them were kind of cool, but a lot of them embarrassed me. It's so odd looking at what I did back then. Some of my sketches seemed so...immature? Not very developed. It's strange thinking about how much I've really changed over the years. It's crazy how much can change in only a years time.
Sometimes I feel as if life is passing me by too quickly. Especially when it comes to high school and college. I love Herron, but I'll have to leave it behind in less then two years. It really depresses me. I don't think I'm ready for college. I don't want to think about it. To be honest, I'm a bit apprehensive about it as well. How will I fare with other people? On one hand I've become more confident in my ability to talk to people, but in the 'real world' I'm not so sure how well it will work out. Not to mention how much I'll miss you and everyone else. Promise we'll keep in touch? But for now, I'm just trying to focus on now and enjoy this moment in my life while it lasts. Why can't we be 'forever young?' Can we be supersupersuper seniors? High schoolers for life!
To end on a positive note, here's a list of things I adore:
-peeling paint off of pallets
-finding forgotten love notes
-discovering awesome new music
-Sa Swa!
-randomly bursting into dance
-dance offs
-feasts
-Big Fish!
-movie marathons
-cold weather
-sing alongs (despite our lack of talent)
-walks
-the office
-hugs
-awkward moments, or at least hearing about them. Yours are the best Swany!
-cordory pants
-thrift stores/consignment shops
-staying up late
-dress down days
Let's start a riot!
Here's hoping for a more eventful weekend.
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
A Redo. May I?
So I read the other blogs that are dusting off the rust and shifting into gear, and realized every other one is pretty darn positive. I feel like I've been too negative. That's something I really want to change. "Accentuate the Positive" by Dr. John should be my theme song. Let's do a positive week! We will NOT let ourselves be sad. No self-pity (even though it can feel so luxurious), no moping. We will replace negatives with happy thoughts ("Go to our happy places"?). Is this possible? I think so. A Conscience decision to be joyful.
So, to start it off, things I adore:
`Sleeping in big beds
`Napping in a bed, preferably not my own
`Sleeping in other people's beds
`Nat King Cole+ Christmas music- I am so pumped for this holiday season!!!!! (oh Lineweaver, cringe at my exclamation points.)
`I'm not gonna lie, I'm pretty fond of exclamation points, especially in the middle of sentences. I think Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius did that for me.
`LOVE that book. You must read it. I wonder how Abs is doing with it.
`When my hands aren't clammy or freezing off
`Holding hands with Kt jj. She has amazing hands, and it makes me feel like we are kids again.
`Darcy's laugh
`When we randomly bust a move
`This one facial expression of yours, I'll show it to you someday. I think you do it when you're telling me about something your excited about, like as in a story you're telling. I like when you are happy.
`Tambourines
`Bringin' it all Back Home
`Birthday party hats
`Mixes
`Running
`Blasting music and dancing while cleaning (shout-out to Auds!)
`Lydia's smell (haha is that weird? hm I think so. but I find it comforting for some reason)
`When the water is super smooth at practice
`The reservoir when it's raining
`Walking barefoot in really soft grass
`Nutmeg
I guess that's enough for now.
So, to start it off, things I adore:
`Sleeping in big beds
`Napping in a bed, preferably not my own
`Sleeping in other people's beds
`Nat King Cole+ Christmas music- I am so pumped for this holiday season!!!!! (oh Lineweaver, cringe at my exclamation points.)
`I'm not gonna lie, I'm pretty fond of exclamation points, especially in the middle of sentences. I think Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius did that for me.
`LOVE that book. You must read it. I wonder how Abs is doing with it.
`When my hands aren't clammy or freezing off
`Holding hands with Kt jj. She has amazing hands, and it makes me feel like we are kids again.
`Darcy's laugh
`When we randomly bust a move
`This one facial expression of yours, I'll show it to you someday. I think you do it when you're telling me about something your excited about, like as in a story you're telling. I like when you are happy.
`Tambourines
`Bringin' it all Back Home
`Birthday party hats
`Mixes
`Running
`Blasting music and dancing while cleaning (shout-out to Auds!)
`Lydia's smell (haha is that weird? hm I think so. but I find it comforting for some reason)
`When the water is super smooth at practice
`The reservoir when it's raining
`Walking barefoot in really soft grass
`Nutmeg
I guess that's enough for now.
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